Message Outline

The Blame Game

Family Makeover

Pastor Larry Stockstill
Sunday, Feb 7, 2021

Genesis 2:21-22 - “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made (built) into a woman and brought her to the man.”

Genesis 2:23 - “Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man”

Ephesians 5:28-31 - “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 


Three principles of the first marriage:

1. Roles: God's protection

  1. God has a divine order—this produces roles and protection.  
  2. Roles define authority but not equality
  3. Husbands and wives are both submitted to each other. God created them both as His children. Neither had more or less favor with God. However, God assigned Adam the responsibility to “husband” or protect His wife. He made her the “weaker vessel” and commanded the husband to “hold fast” to his wife (1 Peter 3:1-7).

2. RESPONSIBILITY: We must fulfill those roles (Genesis 3:6)

  1. Eve was not responsible in her role. She came out from under the umbrella of protection. 
  2. Adam also was not responsible in his role. He was passive and not leading.

3. Blame: The “blame game” is our attempt to take no responsibility for failures.

  1. Adam blamed God for giving him Eve: “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit of the tree and I ate” (3:12).
  2. EVE blamed the serpent: “The serpent deceived me and I ate” (v. 13)
  3. The serpent didn’t have anybody to blame… “Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent, and the serpent didn’t have a leg to stand on!
  4. “Blame … or contribution”?
    1. All of us fail in our roles. We all fail in our responsibilities. Where we cannot fail, however, is in BLAMING.  
    2. Blaming is judging. It makes another person the reason for everything. 
    3. Finding a “scapegoat” to blame can hide the fact that many people were involved in the failure. 
  5. “Blame looks, backward, contribution looks forward” 
    1. Blame looks backward. It’s bad because it keeps you from solving the problem and doing something about it.  
    2. Contribution looks forward: “What did we each do to get ourselves in this mess?” 
  6. We must seek to understand where we contributed to a conflict:
    1. We avoided addressing problems
    2. We’ve become so annoyed we’ve made it worse by being hypersensitive and short-tempered.
    3. Intersections are dangerous. It’s where most crashes (and clashes) happen. 

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