Remember the COVENANT

Hosea 2:19-20 ESV-"And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in STEADFAST LOVE and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord."

Two important parts of a marriage covenant

• Marriage is based on "steadfast love," or "covenant love" (hesed). A covenant has two distinct parts:
  • It is a LEGAL CONTRACT with mutual rights and obligations.
  • It is a LOVING CONNECTION, which is loving, generous, and merciful, like God Himself. You need the legal contract side of covenant so that sentimentality and feelings do not rule the relationship.
• You need the loving connection side so that marriage does not feel like just a debt or an obligation. ("I honor you; I forgive you; I love to be with you more than anyone or anything else.")

Remember to FORGIVE

God made a covenant with Israel at Sinai (Exodus 24). "All that the Lord has spoken we will do" (verse 7, ESV). This was their spiritual "I do" to God.

Exodus 34:6-7 ESV-"The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, ‘The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in covenant love [hesed] and faithfulness, keeping covenant love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin."

• MERCIFUL-"I will show you compassion when you are at your lowest point."
• GRACIOUS-"I will be generous and give to you whatever you need, even if you don't deserve it."
• SLOW TO ANGER -"I will have infinite patience with you, giving you time for God to change you."
• STEADFAST LOVE-"I will be devoted to you for the rest of our lives, regardless of what we go through."
• FAITHFULNESS-"I will be loyal to you and never bring my affection to an outsider."

Remember to FORGET

The three areas to forget**

1. MEMORIES

This includes all the retained memories that you hold on to in your mind: the words spoken, the disappointments, the times they were not there for you, the times they failed you spiritually, financially, or even morally.

"[Love] doesn't keep track of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5 GW).

2. WORDS

All the fights, the arguments, and the anger must be brought to the cross and forgiven. Sometimes there must be counseling to help control abusive behavior.

3. SECRETS

This means secret habits, secret addictions, secret pornography, secret affairs, secret attachments, secret financial arrangements. Go ahead and get it out and get it over! Cleanse your conscience so that you don't have to hide the rest of your life.