Being Open and Honest—Fearless Conversation

As followers of Jesus, we’re called to put our faith into action. This lesson focuses on the second of the Four Acts of Love: fearless conversation. Teenagers will examine what a fearless conversation truly is, and learn how these kinds of conversations connect to their everyday lives through taking risks, truly listening, and being respectful and loving.

Lesson Objectives

1. WHAT: Fearless conversations open the door to building genuine trust with other people, and talking about Jesus.
2. WHY: Teenagers may struggle with fearless conversations, but they can become more comfortable with these opportunities through practice.
3. HOW: Students will reflect on the power of a fearless conversation rooted in trust, honesty, listening, and respect.

Primary Scripture: John 3:1-21

Secondary Scriptures: Ephesians 4:29 and James 1:19

1. Choose to take some risks

Building a solid friendship requires some risks, such as the risk of being honest with your friend—what are some other risks that make a friendship stronger?

Tell us about a “fearless conversation” you’ve had—who was it with, what did you discuss, and what was it like?

In our Scripture, what risks did Nicodemus take? How about Jesus?

Nicodemus took the risk of approaching Jesus personally. He wanted to get answers from Jesus directly. Fearless conversations are opportunities to be honest, to ask important questions, to truly listen, to truly care, and to truly connect. All of that can be risky—but it’s a risk worth taking.

2. Make sure you listen

What was most frustrating about this activity?

What percentage of your partner’s words could you hear during that minute?

Obviously, we know that we can’t hear another person speak if we’re speaking at the same time—but what are some other ways we don’t truly listen to the other person in a conversation?

How can you tell that Jesus was really listening to Nicodemus in this passage?

Read James 1:19—which part of this verse is most difficult for you to do?

Jesus wasn’t afraid of fearless conversations. When we read the Gospels—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John—we see him asking provocative questions. And he didn’t always answer the questions. He wanted to get people thinking, and he truly listened to what they said.

3. Be respectful and loving

Tell us about a time it was awkward to talk about Jesus. What would have made it less awkward?

If someone disrespects you during a conversation, how do you usually react? Why?

What if someone is respectful—how does that help your conversation?

How was Jesus respectful in his conversation with Nicodemus?

In a fearless conversation, we sometimes talk about deep, personal, or sensitive issues. These conversations aren’t about yelling or winning an argument. In a fearless conversation, we need to respect the other person, and we need to ask and say things out of love. Remember: Jesus loves that person as much as he loves you.

BGroup Questions

1. How can you practice being ready for fearless conversations?
2. Why are some people open to a fearless conversation, and others aren’t?
3. How do you need Jesus’ help with fearless conversations—having them and handling them well?

TAKE ACTION: Memorize this Scripture this week! “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them” (Ephesians 4:29).

**Leaders, leave 3-5 minutes for prayer at the end of your group time.