Our teenagers face so many options for finding their identity and value in this world: friends, dating relationships, the approval of parents, athletic ability, academic work, artistic talents—the list goes on and on. This lesson will help teenagers consider one of life’s most important questions, “Where do I choose to find my identity?”

Lesson Objectives

1. WHAT: When we attempt to find our identity in anything but Jesus Christ, we are left disappointed and empty.
2. WHY: When teenagers secure their identity in Jesus, they can avoid the struggle of trying to find identity later in life.
3. HOW: Students will take an honest look at the ways they try to find their identity, and they’ll discuss the satisfaction of finding their identity in Jesus Christ.

Primary Scripture: Philippians 3:5-9

Secondary Scriptures: John 10:10 and Romans 10:9

1. We choose to find our identity in someone or something

Where do teenagers try to find their identity? Let’s see how many examples we can list as a group.

When have you tried to find your identity in one of those ways? What was the end result?

What are some risks of trying to find your identity in relationships with friends, significant others, or even family members?

God created us in his image—in the image of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, who are in relationship with one another. So we are hard-wired to be in relationships, and these connections with other people are a gift from God. But we can’t place our worth and value in the hands of people around us—or in things, or accomplishments. That kind of worth or value doesn’t last forever.

2. Outside of Jesus, every other choice to find identity falls short

How does finding your identity in your appearance eventually fail you?

How does finding your identity in your performance—maybe sports or grades or theater—come up short?

How does finding your identity in your popularity lead to disappointment?

Why does it hurt so much when someone lets you down?

 Look at verse 8—why do you think the Apostle Paul uses these really strong words, such as worthless and garbage?

Choosing to find our identity in appearance, performance, or popularity might provide temporary satisfaction. For a short time, we might feel fulfilled or complete, but soon we’ll be left feeling empty. Plus, we can often become chained to the thing that seems to give us value or worth. But that’s not the case when we choose to find our identity in Jesus—it’s freedom, not a prison!

3. When we choose to find our identity in Jesus, we find salvation and satisfaction

Read John 10:10 and Romans 10:9. What do these verses reveal about finding your identity in Jesus?

When are you most tempted to find your identity through appearance, popularity, or performance?

How has finding your identity in Jesus helped you experience peace and satisfaction?

Jesus offers worth and value—a true identity that will never let us down. Choosing to receive his forgiveness and friendship is the best choice we can make. Please understand one important idea: I’m not saying Jesus doesn’t want you to have friends, or to compete in sports or participate in the arts, or to do well in the classroom, or to care about the way you look. I’m simply saying that you can’t let those things define you. Otherwise, you’ll feel valued when you do well, but then rejected when you don’t. But with Jesus, you don’t have those ups and downs because he is constant and consistent—he doesn’t change, and he doesn’t let you down.

BGroup Questions

1. Where are you most tempted to find your identity: performance, appearance, or popularity? Why?
2.  What can make it difficult for you to find your identity in Jesus?
3. How can you help other people find their identity in Jesus?

TAKE ACTION: Memorize this Scripture this week! “I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done” (Philippians 3:7).

**Leaders, leave 3-5 minutes for prayer at the end of your group time.