TNT Parenting

Big Idea: Children are a gift from the Lord and we have a responsibility as parents to raise them correctly. We can’t take cues from culture on how we should raise, discipline, or instruct our children. The Word of God is the source of wisdom we desperately need to raise children who love God, respect authority, and have the skills they need in order to live successful lives. Let’s look to the Word for guidance in raising children so we leave a legacy for generations! 

Key Scriptures: 

2 Timothy 1:5-7 - I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you. For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

T: Train 

The training of your children is 100% your responsibility! Teachers, coaches, and grandparents can partner with us to assist but at the end of the day, our children are our responsibility. Training wheels on a bike help to teach children how to balance and enjoy the ride. As parents, we have Discipline and Affirmation as training wheels to help us keep our kids balanced and on track. Our goal as parents is to cultivate self-discipline in our children! 

Proverbs 22:6 - Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Discipline

• Discipline to STOP doing things you shouldn’t. 
  • Discipline is an act of love. If you truly love your child, you will provide the loving correction they need.
• Discipline to START doing things you should. 
  • The fundamental mode of our lives is comfort. Discipline breaks this in order to choose what is wise. Without external discipline, we default to comfort. This self-focus leads to easy paths and short-term pleasures but ultimately causes self-destruction.
• Discipline to KEEP doing the right things.  
  • You become what you repeat. Discipline is about the daily commitments and habits that shape who you are.

Proverbs 13:24 - Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Affirmation

We’ve been designed to need affirmation. It gives us confidence as we take our next steps. We affirm their identity and they belong to us! And, we affirm their behavior.

• Affirm their identity - who they are without even doing a thing! 
• Affirm their behavior - something you want to see repeated. 
  • Affirmation is not flattery. Flattery is a false compliment given to obtain favor. Affirmation is the encouragement and strengthening of a person's identity and behavior.

Discussion Questions: Who are the other adults you’re partnering with to help raise your children? What’s your understanding of discipline from our teaching today? What’s something you want your children to STOP doing? Something you want them to START doing? What are some healthy habits you want them to KEEP doing? What are some phrases you can say to your child to affirm their identity? What are some behaviors you can affirm and praise your child for, to encourage them to repeat it?

N: Navigate 

Much of parenting is helping to navigate a person through life. It’s our responsibility to help in navigating our children’s environments, friendships, their uniqueness, and their opportunities. 

• Their environment 
  • We’re all creatures of our environment. Wherever you put us will heavily influence the outcome. You are solely responsible for the environment of your children. 
  • Make sure that the environment they have at your house is a positive environment of order, peace, and joy. 
• Their friendships/relationships 
  • Before 10, kids mirror the behavior of the kids they are with. They will laugh like them, say the same phrases, and be highly influenced by them.
  • After 10, friends replace parents as the greatest influence. 
  • Put them in environments where good friends are easily found.
  • Help them learn how to select good friends.
  • Be up in the mix. 
• Their uniqueness 
  • We are all born with gifts and aptitudes. 
  • You are the captain of your child’s ship to help steer their aptitudes and gifts into a proper fulfillment. 
• Their opportunities
  • Their gifts will open doors for them, you are there to help navigate them through these waters. 
  • Not all doors are positive doors or from the Lord. Help them determine which doors are right for them to walk through. 

Discussion Questions: What are some environments you choose to place your children in? (School, Sports, Music, Theater, Church, etc.) Do you take an active role in guiding who your children spend time with? What are some of the unique qualities or gifts you recognize in your kids? How are you helping them to develop those gifts or skills to aid them in their future? If you are a parent who signs their kids up for every possible extracurricular activity, maybe let your child’s giftings and unique qualities help you select a few activities they would thrive in! Remember not all opportunities are great opportunities for them and you don’t have to say yes to every activity.

T: Time 

Philippians 2:22 - But you know how Timothy has proved himself. Like a son with his father, he has served with me in preaching the Good News.

We have 936 weeks with our children from birth until they reach 18 years of age. The average American household spends 3 hours of quality time a week with their kids. That equals only about 18 weeks of the 936 we’re given. That is just not sufficient in raising kids!  

• Time is the “roadway” for growth. 
  • Affection, discipleship, understanding, memories, and shared philosophies all travel along this “road.”
  • Your influence on them will only take place down the road of time. Build a good road!
• Love is spelled T.I.M.E
  • Make presence a priority - You're going to have to sacrifice to have this time you need. You will have to say NO to a lot of things in order to say YES to time. 
    • TIME for osmosis
    • TIME for home culture
    • TIME for conversations
    • TIME for leisure
    • TIME for moments
• The greatest thief of your time with kids is overwork.
  • It’s better to spend time with your kids and live in an apartment than to live in a mansion but never spend time with them. 

Discussion Questions: Do you enjoy a family night each week? It doesn’t have to be the same night of each week - but do you have a designated time where you enjoy a meal together, play games, or watch a movie together with the goal of having fun & connecting with each other? These nights don’t have to break the bank either! It’s not about throwing money at our kids, but rather giving our undivided attention. What are some changes you could make to your schedule to allow more quality time with your children/family? What are some boundaries you need to set in place to ensure you are devoting your time to your children/family?   

Conclusion

We desire legacy families that stand strong in the earth and endure through generations. You will only have a legacy if you raise your children right. Often, we ask God to do miracles for us in areas we didn’t steward well. Don’t get caught up in the failures or shortcomings of yesterday, surrender afresh to the Lord and lead your family with the principles found in the Word of God. Invest time into loving, developing, and training your children while you have the opportunity!